


All That And a Tiki Warrior Costume

by Chash



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-21
Updated: 2009-06-21
Packaged: 2017-10-24 14:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/264528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High School Musical 2 J2 AU.  In which Jared Padalecki is used to always getting what he wants, Jensen Ackles is the tragic product of abstinence-only education, and Danneel Harris is the best faghag.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That And a Tiki Warrior Costume

**Author's Note:**

> For [](http://juice817.livejournal.com/profile)[**juice817**](http://juice817.livejournal.com/), who is having a rough day ♥

For some unfathomable reason, Jensen Ackles has not realized that he and Jared are MFEO. And they are, they really are. Jared could write odes about their destiny. Jensen is the captain of all the the school teams (okay, just football, basketball, and baseball, but still), the most popular guy in school, and Jared--well, it's not like he's the head cheerleader or whatever, but he stars in all the drama productions and pretty much every girl in school either likes him so much or is terrified of him enough to call him the most popular girl.

So, okay, it's not like their love is completely supported by the stereotypical high school hierarchy. But that's just because the stereotypical high school hierarchy is pathetically heteronormative.

"That's a lot of big words to justify you being single," Danneel points out. Danneel is a pretty decent faghag, except that she questions Jared's judgment and choices and emotions, which is super annoying. Especially given she's usually right.

"I'm not even sure he knows he _can_ be gay!" bemoans Jared. "I blame abstinence-only sex education."

"At least you know that means he's not getting any from anyone else," Danneel points out.

That is the bright, shining beacon of hope in Jared's world. Jensen is single, which means that maybe, possibly, somehow, Jensen knows homosexuality is an option and is pining away for Jared and has just missed that if Jared were any gayer, he'd actually catch fire.

And then, Sandy McCoy shows up.

Sandy McCoy is pretty and perky and smart and perfect and had some kind of life-affirming karaoke experience with Jensen that means they're BFF. This is particularly upsetting to Jared because he always thought that, given half a chance, he and Jensen would be awesome BFFs who had sex and got married and were famous celebrities who adopted underprivileged babies and were role models for all gay people everywhere and all straight people who didn't suck.

But Sandy fucking McCoy totally crushes Jared's chi.

*

After the disaster that is junior year, what with him and Danneel being beaten out for the lead roles for the first time _ever_ (and, seriously, that was totally just Mrs. Ferris being annoyed that Jared is a better choreographer than she is), Jared decides he needs a real plan.

He calls it Jared Padalecki's Super Awesome Win Jensen Ackles' Love Summer of Love Extravaganza.

After all, you gotta think big or go home, right? Jared has goals. Mostly goal.

Mostly Jensen.

"Have you ever tried just talking to him?" asks Danneel. She's eating a cupcake; some basketball guy named Aldis has taken to following her around with baked goods. If he's honest with himself, Jared is kind of jealous. He loves baked goods. And being worshiped.

"Of course I talk to him," says Jared. "Hi, Jensen!" he calls, to demonstrate.

Jensen grins and waves. "Have a good summer, Jared!"

"You too!" says Jared, with the full force of his dimples.

Jensen goes back to talking to Sandy.

"See?" says Jared.

"So what is the plan?"

"Sandy," says Jared, "is like a professional new kid. She moves every summer. So, clearly she's moving, and I can sweep in and charm Jensen, my new caddy."

"So your big plan is that his girlfriend moves away and then you seduce an employee?" asks Danneel, raising her eyebrows.

"You wish you were this smart," Jared grumbles.

*

Jared is feeling very optimistic about Jared Padalecki's Super Awesome Win Jensen Ackles' Love Summer of Love Extravaganza (J.Pad Superex, for short), until he discovers that Sandy McCoy is not going to be moving after all, and will instead stay in Texas for the remainder of high school. That's a real blow to his plan. Plus, she and half of the school will be working at his country club, so it's not like he's going to have one-on-one time with Jensen.

Still, Jared is nothing if not optimistic, and this is a glass of suck that is half-full.

Actually, since the glass is full of suck, it should be half-empty.

Whatever, the point is, he's still spending the summer with Jensen, and he's not actually totally sure Jensen and Sandy are dating, because they're always G-rated in school, which is pretty fucking freakish. If Jared was dating Jensen Ackles, he'd be having quickies in the janitor's closet between every class.

Anyway.

Jared is going to get a chance to strut around in front of Jensen in his most flattering swim trunks, with his perfect tan, and he's pretty sure he'll be able to get himself dripping wet a lot.

J. Pad Superex has _changed_ , but it's not sunk. Not by a long shot.

*

Danneel might have a point.

Okay, if Jared is totally honest, which he rarely is, Danneel has a lot of points--90% of the time she's right, and the other 10% she's being sarcastic.

Actually, it's probably more like 50/50.

In this specific case, what she's right about is that Jared hasn't really talked to Jensen much.

Oh, they know each other, of course--they have the same basic social ranking, and it's not a huge school. But they've never really had a conversation.

On the Monday Jensen starts working at Lava Springs, Jensen says, "Oh, you're a member here?" and Jared says, "Uh, kind of."

On Tuesday, Jared says, "Morning, Jensen!" and Jensen says, "Hey," with a smile.

On Wednesday, Jensen says, "Hey," with a fucking gorgeous smile, and Jared trips and falls into the pool and Sandy has to save him from drowning.

On Thursday, Jared says, "Hey, could you get me an iced tea?" before he notices he's talking to _Jensen_. "Never mind," he mutters, "you've got other work to do."

"No," says Jensen, "I can--"

"Don't worry about it," says Jared. He manages a smile. "How are you liking it here, anyway?"

Jensen shrugs. His nose is freckling more in the sun. Jared wants to lick every one. "It's okay," says Jensen. "I mean, it's work, you know?"

Jared doesn't, really.

"And I need money for my college fund," Jensen continues.

"Yeah?" asks Jared, sensing an opportunity. "Where are you thinking of going?"

"I'd like to go to UT Austin," says Jensen. "But I dunno if I could get a scholarship. It's pretty competitive."

"And you're awesome," says Jared, without thinking. Jensen looks up at that, a little surprised, and Jared flushes. "I mean, captain of all the teams . . . "

"At our school, yeah," says Jensen. "But every school has a kid like me. It's not like I'm an awesome actor or something like you."

"Um," Jared manages, "you've seen that? I mean, me?"

"Yeah," says Jensen. "I couldn't believe I beat you out last semester, man, you're, like, beyond good."

Jared is pretty sure he's so red--and orange from unfortunate tanning choices--that he looks like a radioactive lobster. "You're--you play basketball really good. Well. I mean. You're something special, Jensen."

Jensen laughs and rubs the back of his neck. "I should--get back to work."

"Hey!" calls Jared, desperate to not let him leave. Jensen turns. "You know, my dad--he's on the board at Austin. He could--maybe if he met you sometime, he could put in a good word."

Jensen looks pleased. "Really?"

Jared grins at him; Sandy McCoy can't do that. "Yeah, I'll see what I can do."

*

"So what you're doing," says Danneel, with a look that says she thinks Jared is an absolutely reprehensible human being, "is basically buying Jensen's love with a college scholarship."

"I am not," says Jared, except that is exactly what he wants to do.

"You want to know what I think?"

"No," says Jared immediately.

"I think," Danneel continues, "that all those big words and social norms and stupid plots? They're you trying to pretend you're not stupid in love with Jensen Ackles, and you'd do anything for him to love you too."

Jared says nothing.

"And I think," says Danneel, "you should stop coming up with stupid plans to _make_ him spend time with you, because you're never going to be happy unless he actually _likes_ you."

"This is why I never want to hear what you think," Jared mutters.

"Because I'm always right?"

"Yes."

*

"Hey, Jared!" says Sandy McCoy brightly. Jared blinks. She and that guy who always cooks for Danneel are in a golf cart, and he has no idea why they're talking to him. "Are you coming to the barbecue?"

"What?" asks Jared.

"Staff barbecue. I'm cooking," says Aldis. "So it's gonna be a delicious time."

"I'm not on the staff," says Jared, feeling sad about this for the first time ever."

"That's okay!" says Sandy. "Danneel is coming too and she's not on the staff. We're all Wildcats, right?"

Jared really has no idea how to respond to that level of perkiness--he's perky himself, sometimes, but he's gay so it's expected, and seriously, Sandy practically sparkles--but Jensen is probably going to be there, and he can socialize and try to drive a wedge between him and Sandy.

So he says, "Sure," and hops in the back of the golf cart.

"Does Danneel like Aldis?" asks Sandy after a minute.

"Huh?" asks Jared. He's too self-centered to really think about Danneel's love life. Besides, Danneel is the hottest girl ever in the world, bar-none (never let it be said Jared is not loyal to his faghag), so she should be able to get anyone she wants.

"Shut up, Sandy," Aldis mutters, but Sandy forges on.

"I mean, does she ever talk about him?"

"Uh," says Jared. "Sometimes, I guess." He considers. "Yeah, she mentions him."

He doesn't say she talks about _that guy who won't stop bringing me cupcakes_ , because when he thinks about it, she says it kind of self-consciously, like she cares more than she wants to.

Huh.

Jared should really pull his head out of his ass sometimes and pay attention to another human being. Other than Jensen, that is.

"Like, a lot?" asks Aldis. "Or as a creepy stalker dude or--never mind. I hate you, Sandy."

Jared laughs. "She's coming, right? That means something."

Aldis brightens. "Yeah, it does. Thanks, man."

Jared wonders if this is what it's like having friends.

It kind of tingles.

*

Jared sighs. His dad thinks Jensen is awesome, and Jensen is glowing under the praise, and Jared--Jared feels like shit.

He suspects it's because he doesn't _like_ feeling richer than Jensen. Which is insane, because there is nothing in the world Jared likes more than being richer and awesomer than everyone else.

But Danneel, damn her, is right. After the barbecue, talking with Jensen, joking around with Aldis and Sandy, trying to explain how awesome theater is to Jensen's best friend Chad, Jared finds that he doesn't actually want to buy his friends.

And he absolutely doesn't want to buy Jensen.

But he does want to spend more time with Jensen, which is even more baffling, because how do you even get someone to spend time with you without paying them? This is all so new to Jared.

But he's got a plan. Not J. Pad Superex, not--he just wants to spend more time with Jensen, and he wants Jensen to agree.

"Hey, man," he says, jogging up to Jensen at his lunch.

"Hey!" says Jensen, beaming. "What's up, Jared?"

Jared rubs the back of his neck. "I wanted a favor, actually."

Jensen raises his eyebrows. "What kind of favor?"

Jared could say sexual, but it's moving a little fast. And that's not actually what he wants. "FML," mutters Jared.

"What?" asks Jensen.

"Golf!" says Jared.

"Huh?"

Jared manages a smile. "My dad's a total golf nut, and I'm--not really good at it." He ducks his head, genuinely embarrassed. He loves his dad, and his dad loves golf, and Jared hates feeling like a disappointment. He knows his parents adore him, but he's always been into singing and dancing, and never into athletics, and he wishes he could be both.

It's alarming to feel this way, and even more alarming to want to tell Jensen it. Jared hates sharing his feelings.

"Yeah?" prompts Jensen.

"Yeah. So--I was wondering. I know it's not part of your job, but--maybe if you had time after work? You could help me out? Don't feel bad saying no if you don't want to. I guess you might wanna--"

"Jared," says Jensen. His hand is on Jared's arm, warm and firm. Jared blinks, looks up. Jensen smiles. "Yeah, that's no problem. I'll meet you at five?"

"Yeah," says Jared, laughing. "I--thanks, Jensen."

Jensen shrugs, smiles. "No problem."

*

"So you asked him on a date," says Danneel.

"No. Yes. I hope so. I don't know. Shut up. Are you dating Aldis?"

"You're such a spaz, Padalecki," says Danneel, blushing slightly.

"You should date Aldis."

"You should shut your face."

*

Jared's palms are sweaty, his hair is probably weird and flat, and his tan is oranger than would be ideal.

Jensen arrives at 5:36 and is _perfect_.

"So, golf, huh?" says Jensen.

"My dad loves it, like I said."

"That's cool," says Jensen. "My dad, he's kind of all basketball, all the time. Gets tiring."

"Is that what you want to do?" Jared asks.

"What, basketball?"

"Yeah."

Jensen shrugs. "Not professionally. I don't really know yet, you know?"

Jared says, "I guess," even though he doesn't. He's always wanted to act, his whole life.

"Oh right, you're going to be an actor," says Jensen.

"I'd like to," Jared admits. "But--it's a pretty competitive field." It's the first time he's ever told someone that. He always pretends he's _sure_ , so confident that he's going to make it. Jensen just makes him want to be--honest.

"Yeah, but you're awesome," says Jensen, flashing him a smile. "Let's just see if the awesome carries over to golf."

"Please," says Jared, grabbing a club, "my awesome carries over to everything."

"That's a putter," says Jensen.

"So? I'm putting."

"No, you're not. You're teeing off."

"With a putt."

"Jared?" says Jensen, with an exasperated smile. "This is going to be a lot easier for everyone if you listen to me."

Jared flushes. "Sorry," he mumbles.

"It's fine. Let's find the driver and get to it."

*

Jared actually sucks at dating. He's never done it. He likes to think this is because he's picky and too good for most people, and not because he's been pathetically in love with Jensen Ackles since he hit puberty, but he knows it's a lie.

So it turns out that golfing lessons do not immediately lead to confessions of love, and weird sex on the course that leaves grass stains in unfortunate places.

It mostly leads to golfing.

It also leads to Jensen--more Jensen--which is awesome if annoying. As Jared suspected, they are totally becoming BFF, even without the help of karaoke, and he thinks--well, Jensen _likes him_. And that's something, even if it's not enough.

"This sucks," Jared whines, during their fifth lesson. He means his entire situation, but he assumes and hopes Jensen will interpret it as this stupid shot.

"What, you? Yeah, Padalecki, you suck."

"I could have you fired," Jared says with a pout.

Jensen laughs. "You would not. You're a total softie."

"This shot is impossible," Jared whines.

"It's not," says Jensen. "Seriously."

And then, because god either loves or hates Jared (before this summer, he would have said loved without hesitation, but this summer is pissing him the fuck off), Jensen comes up behind him and _holds on_ , his hands over Jared's to show him where to go.

Jared swallows, and Jensen probably notices.

"Okay," says Jensen, his voice rough in Jared's ear, "you just--"

"Jensen," says Jared, as calmly as he can, "if you don't let go of me, I am probably going to kiss you. Like, a lot. So you should probably--"

Jensen kisses him.

 _Jensen kisses him._

Jared squeaks and tries to kiss back, but he's never kissed anyone so he doesn't really know what to do, and they're in a really awkward position, and he falls backward and elbows Jensen in the stomach as they hit the ground.

"That was romantic," Jensen comments.

"Shut up," says Jared, kissing him again. It works better the second time. "I didn't think you knew boys could even _like_ boys."

"I have cable," says Jensen.

Jared laughs. "It really is corrupting the youth, huh?"

"Totally," Jensen agrees, and kisses him again.

*

So, as it turns out, Jensen Ackles really _did_ like Jared all along, and was too shy to ever mention it, which Jared thinks is adorable. And he and Sandy really were just karaoke-singing BFF, and Jared doesn't even have to be jealous, because Jensen promises to sing karaoke with him too. And Sandy really is sweet and nice and wonderful, and now that Jared is over wanting to strangle her with her own shirt, he thinks she can be a backup faghag, for when Danneel is unavailable due to having a new boyfriend.

"So for you faghag is kind of like lady-in-waiting, huh?" asks Jensen, his head resting on Jared's stomach.

"Someone has to help me look this awesome every day," says Jared. "Or you'd stop dating me."

"Yeah, I'm totally shallow like that," says Jensen.

Something occurs to Jared. "You aren't just dating me because it's expected by the social hierarchy, right?'

Jensen twists his head around to look at Jared. "Huh?"

"Just asking."

"No, Jared," he says slowly, "I'm dating you because I like you."

"Oh," says Jared, a grin growing on his face. "Awesome."

"By the way," says Jensen, "you have any idea why Chad's going around telling people he'll show them how he swings?"

Jared coughs. "Nope. Not a clue."


End file.
